How Not to Get Press Here

If you want to get press here, and you’ve already corresponded with this blog about it, this might be your chance to jump from the back of the line to the front. If you sent a download of your album, or your single, or ep, within the last year, SEND IT AGAIN to lucidculture [at] gmail [dot]com. The mid-February computer crash wiped out an enormous amount of material that was waiting patiently for its turn here. Cruel as this is to say, somebody else’s loss could be your gain.

Otherwise, here’s how to guarantee that your music will never get coverage here:

1. Imitate what you hear on commercial radio
2. Autotune your vocals
3. Use a drum machine or computerized beats instead of real drums. Your music, or your band, doesn’t have to have drums at all. But if you have beats, make them organic. It’s more fun that way. And besides, no real musician likes to play to a click track, let alone listen to one.
4. Hide your music behind a paywall. If there isn’t a place somewhere on the web where people can hear what you do, for free, without having to sign into Itunes or Spotify and deal with all those stupid ads. most everybody will click off the page and probably won’t ever come back. This blog included.

Now here are four ways to increase your chances of getting press here:

1. Put an oud on your record, or play one onstage. It’s ok if you don’t play it well. It’s just that pretty much everything sounds good played on the oud. Same with the accordion.
2. Write good lyrics. The more politically relevant, clever, or funny they are, the better.
3. Don’t write any lyrics at all. Who says music has to have lyrics, anyway?
4, Spend five minutes here to find out if there’s any kind of synergy with what you do. Peruse the music index; scroll down the front page; see what kind of live shows get listed on the monthly NYC live music calendar.

The general email for this blog and its jazz/classical annex and predecessor Lucid Culture is lucidculture [at] gmail [dot] com. Please don’t send Facebook links, and no Youtube videos with ads. Ad-free Youtube or Vevo clips, Tumblr, Virb, Weebly, Bandcamp, Reverbnation, Soundcloud, Instantencore, Sonicbids and Bandpage are all fine; your own fast-loading site with no pop-ups is fine too. If you have an album or a single, please send links to A) streaming audio, wherever that might be, and B) a download.

If you’re strictly a live act and don’t have any recordings, that’s ok. Send an email with upcoming show dates and relevant info and if you’re good, you might get some press here. Whenever possible,  coverage here is timed to help spread the word about live shows or album release dates – the more advance notice the better.

A few other things you should know about live calendar listings and coverage:

1. This blog does not cover any event ticketed by or involving the Live Nation/Ticketbastard empire. Not that they have anything worth seeing anyway.

2. For listings in the monthly NYC live music calendar, the geographical area is limited to the five boroughs of New York plus the honorary NY boroughs of Hoboken and Jersey City, NJ.

3. To submit a concert for upcoming concert calendar listings, please include the stage time (the time the music starts, not the time the doors open), date, venue and address, cover charge if applicable, appropriate links and brief description of the artist or event. If tickets are available in advance of showdate, please include the address of the box office, and if you know the hours it’s open, please include that information too.

Please don’t submit listings for the calendar which A) feature lipsynching or prerecorded music rather than a live performance, B) cost more than about $35 (if you’re charging that much and you’re scrounging for a listing here, you’re in trouble), C) ticketed events where cash customers are gouged extra because they’re not paying with a credit card.  Thanks!